Older parents and technology - Just shoot me now!

Does anyone else have that one parent that thinks he is ready for technology even though he can't even operate a remote control?  When computers were in the Windows 95 stage (probably one of the better eras) my mom decided to buy herself a desktop computer because all of her friends were sending "e-mails" and it was the thing to do.  Needless to say, she had no clue how to operate a computer and none of my siblings were tech saavy - so, guess who got to bond with mom over a Windows 95 desktop device?  Yep!  Lucky me!  Now don't get me wrong, I do not think there is anything bad about someone wanting to try something new and improve themselves.  However, I do think that a person needs to make the committment to at least learn how to use the technology they have so willingly enmeshed themselves into.  Over time my mom did learn how to use her computer to send e-mails and to print "stuff" (mostly jokes and pictures on plain paper).  In addition to those skills, she learned how to play games online.  She entered the world of POGO and opened herself up to a whole new world of fun . . . and viruses!

Is it selfish if you don't want to go visit your parents because you know that the so called visit is going to turn into a technical nightmare of redoing system settings, cleaning out caches, and killing viruses?  How about when the phone rings and it's your mother on the other end and she "just has a little question!"

     "Yes mom, this little picture (icon) needs to be left alone". 

     "No mom, don't try to "clean" your computer yourself".  

     "Sure mom, I can drive 45 miles one way to fix your computer".

     "Did you shut the computer off and turn it back on first . . . ".  

     "Oh, your friend Steve said to do a system restore because that's what he does when his computer freezes - Ummm, no! Do not press that button, I will be there in 45 minutes". 

I was in heaven when my parents decided to buy a second home in Texas and head South for their winters.  Six months of not having to trouble shoot computer problems (they didn't have smart phones yet either).  I was dreaming of what I would do with all of my extra time over the winter months . . . and then my mom calls and says, "I am taking my computer to Texas with me.  What do I need to do to get internet when I am there?"  [Crickets chirping . . . ]  And, that single sentence started a month long saga of me trying to "talk" my mom through a process that she was in no way, shape, or form, able to handle.  The saga ended with me getting on a plane and flying to Texas to get my parents set up with "dial-up" internet.  Well, that wasn't the only reason but it happened to be a catalyst. Yes, this was a long time ago and wireless technology wasn't readily available - this fact alone should indicate how many years I have been dealing with this demon called technology.

Roll forward to 2019 - my dad is no longer with us, my mom is remarried to a great guy who is a little more tech saavy than she is - just enough that I can actually explain steps to him over the phone and he is able to follow them.  My mom has had a cell phone for years - I put her under my phone plan and I pay for her monthly bill and we call it her Christmas, Mother's Day, and birthday presents all rolled into one.  Solves my problem of trying to figure out what to get her and it keeps her from having to dish out money each month for a phone.  Enter the SMART PHONE - since hubby #2 has a smart phone and he can do all kinds of cool things with it, mom decided she might need a smart phone.  Oh God!  I didn't realize I had PTSD (Prior Technology Stress Disorder) until I heard the words "how much would it cost for me to switch to one of those smart phones?"

Here's the problem - as a teenager I could look my mom in the eyes and lie my ass off to get myself out of any situation.  As and adult, I can't do it;  I wish I could, but I just can't.  So, I let mom know it wouldn't cost any more for her to switch to a smart phone and she would just have the cost of purchasing a new phone.  I ordered her phone (a very simple Motorola without major bells and whistles) and my older son set the phone up with everything she wanted.  She got a Facebook account, and e-mail account, and all of her contacts loaded into her phone.  Passwords were created and documented for her. Family members were notified that mom was entering the "smartphone" world. But the best thing by far was the "Duo" application that was loaded to her phone.  We could now make phone calls back and forth and use the same technology that George and Jane Jetson used when making their cartoon phone calls.  How cool was that? 

Today I almost cracked - my mom has not checked her voicemail messages for years.  Six months ago I spent time with a Verizon tech getting her password reset (this was pre-smartphone) because she couldn't remember what her PIN # was.  She also insisted that we never told her what her PIN was to begin with.  Okay, my fault, let's just move on.  Today, I spent time with a Verizon tech trying to get my mom's voicemail cleaned out.  The mailbox was full and nobody could leave messages for her.  She then tells me she has never checked her mailbox because nobody ever gave her the PIN #. [Plant my palm on my face].

Long story made short:  After an hour of frustration and explanations, I finally got my mom to understand that the "little blue circle with all the dots on it" could be pressed and an actual keypad would appear. Of course, in order to do this, I had to call "Hubby" and have him take a picture of her screen then send it to me so I actually saw what she was seeing.  Once we accomplished this, I was to talk her through accessing her voicemail. Loe and behold, she did have a PIN # ["Oh! Well how was I supposed to know what that number was for?"].

As I try to look on the bright side I remind myself that I will always be tech saavy . . . because my mother demands it . . . Just shoot me now!

Random thought:  In twenty years are my own children going to be blogging about my inadequacies and sharing their frustrations with anyone in cyberspace who wants to "listen?"

~Daemon